So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
