fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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