watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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