is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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