Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
