One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
