Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
