Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
