i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
