Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
