I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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