The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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