I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
