I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
