Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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