I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
