Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
