I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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