Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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