I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
look no pants
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
