i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am spending my child support on dildos
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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