Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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