so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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