she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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