Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
