I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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