I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
