I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
