is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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