my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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