We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
