I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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