i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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