Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
