Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
