If i could tip my vagina, i would.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
