Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize
