I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
