I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
