her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize