I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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