just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
