dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
