I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
