It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
