I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
