i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
bring money and cleavage
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
