just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
