So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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