well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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