you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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