Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
